Apologies that I haven’t been blogging recently, life has got incredibly busy recently and to be honest, I have not been in a great place with my diabetes recently. Therefore, I did not think it was wise to try and write some blog posts, I felt like I needed to give myself some time off to rest and try and find the spark that I have lost about caring for myself.
My general life (diabetes aside), I have never been happier! Jake and I have recently got engaged (eeek) and are getting married in June 2023. I am so excited, happy, over the moon that this is actually happening. Wedding planning is taking up lots of my time but I don’t have too much more to sort out which is good! On the note of wedding planning, I have bought my wedding dress. I just felt like such a princess and could not stop smiling! There definitely is not another dress in the planet that will make me feel like that, I just felt like a million dollars is the way to put it. And I cannot wait to share pictures come June 2023! My debate now is do I wear my pump or go back to injections for the wedding. I am edging toward injections for the week surrounding the wedding. I do not want to go back and forth to the toilet to give insulin and just think of those beautiful wedding pictures give injections, incorporating that part of my life to our special day! My other suggestion is getting a pocket built into the inside of the dress, but I think that will just be way more hassle than its worth! The problem is that my pump is heavy, and I think it’ll make my dress lobsided. But that’s something to think about over the next 6 months prior to my fitting appointments!
Whilst I have been absent from blogging, Blog of a Type 1 has crossed over its 1-year anniversary mark! Wow how pleased I am that I started this account. It has helped me an incredible amount process every thought and feeling I have had; I am hoping that every wrong decision I have made will help to guide others down better paths and not end up at rock bottom like I have. I cannot believe how many of you read my posts, how many of you subscribe to be notified of new posts. And I cannot thank all of you enough for being here!
Now, lets move onto the diabetic side of life.
It has certainly been much better but has also been much worse. I have been struggling lots recently to the point I find myself not feeling like myself at all and to be completely honest, it is getting me down a lot. As my blood sugars are sitting at higher level more consistently, I find I am feeling incredibly more anxious and worried but for me, this is a common side effect of high blood sugar.
I just feel incredibly unmotivated to help myself due to intrusive thoughts, despite trying to get ride of them. I know I am worth the time spent sorting myself out, but it can be a hard battle fighting those thoughts off. Due to all of this, I am exhausted, I am so tired, I cannot stop my eyes from shutting at about 9pm. Having consistently high blood sugars puts your entire body at increased stress, pressure and workload so at the minute I am one big ball of tiredness. Let me tell you this does not help proceedings in the slightest.
I have felt incredibly unmotivated toward my diabetes and it does show. My hb1ac has increased a heck of a lot but my hospital team are incredibly helpful providing different methods to help break me out of this spell. They have almost done a factory reset on all of settings, asking me to go back to square one to help establish where the problems and differences are. Personally, I am finding this incredibly helpful. Yes my bloods are not perfect because basal setting and carb ratios are slightly wrong but it is helping to cut out the rage bolusing! The hardest part for me is not giving insulin at least 4 hours after the last correct dose. If my sugars are sat at 13mmol/l all I want to do is get them down ASAP, but being told I need to give 1 dose and sit and wait is incredibly hard. I am seeing that I am not having the hypo’s afterwards which is stabilising my bloods slightly. I have a call with the diabetic nurses in a couple of weeks to go over everything.
One thing to note, is how much my blood sugars love going for walks everyday! Obviously having the dog makes it 1000X easier to go out but I have seen such an increase in stability from that!
I have some exciting news in the works but I am still waiting on the go ahead to post about it. It has been incredibly hard considering the blog post has been written and ready to post for about 1 month now! I think with the content of that, it’ll be my most popular blog post!
I am working on more content for the blog so I’m hoping I go back to weekly posting!
Please enjoy all these pictures of my life over the past couple of weeks/months!
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